I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
