Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
