He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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