so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
