pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
