do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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