The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
