okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
She bit a glass in half.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Randomize
