Non-Jews are for practice
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
