I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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