Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
