i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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