my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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