I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
