is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
