Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize