She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
