Capitaan dildo arrescate!
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize