my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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