his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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