No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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