dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
