More tranny stories later!
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Randomize
