Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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