she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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