Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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