We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Randomize
