if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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