The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize