There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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