I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
