id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
