the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
