God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
