I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
