Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize