Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Me too!
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
