I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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