Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
