i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize