george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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