she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
