At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
