I got chris browned last night
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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