whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
