Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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