I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
