This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
