You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
