She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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