there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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