I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
should my penis look like a turkey
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
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