You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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