she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Randomize
