I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
