I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize