It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
tell me about the eggs
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