At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
zippers are such a cool invention
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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