Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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