Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
