The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Randomize
