Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
