don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
This is classic penis vs brain.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
