I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
