drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize