If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
