Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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