so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
