I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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