i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I intend to get homeless drunk
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
